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It works on chapped lips, dry cuticles — and even the crown jewels.
Of all the bombshells from Prince Harry’s buzzy new memoir, “Spare,” few have captivated the internet quite like the Duke of Sussex’s confession about treating his “frostbitten todger” with Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream ($27), a cult-favorite formula that’s a go-to for many members of the royal family … including, now, Harry’s member.
The Duke of Sussex revealed that following a charity trip to the North Pole in 2011, his own pole wound up wounded from the bitter cold.
“My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized,” he wrote, saying that a friend “urged” him to try the bestselling Elizabeth Arden ointment.
“‘My mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?’” Harry recalled asking his pal, to which they responded, “‘It works, Harry. Trust me.’”
Continued the duke, in a passage that’s horrified many a reader, “I found a tube, and the minute I opened it, the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room.”
Social media users had a field day with Harry’s reveal — particularly after Elizabeth Arden posted a cheeky tweet on Monday touting its products as “extremely helpful during the colder months.”
“Can you confirm if this will help with a freezing todger??” one person replied, while another quipped, “NO SUCH A THING AS BAD PUBLICITY.” Pleaded a third, “Please let Harry be the Elizabeth Arden face of 2023.”
Despite the evident awkwardness of applying a parent’s preferred beauty product “down there,” as Harry wrote, Eight Hour Cream has been a royal favorite for decades. Even the late Queen Elizabeth II is said to have used it twice daily as a moisturizer, per British Vogue — and Elizabeth Arden has held a royal warrant for nearly 60 years.
Created in 1930, the balm earned its name from a brand fan who applied it on her child’s grazed knee, and found that it had magically healed after (you guessed it) eight hours.
Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream ($27)
And on its website, Elizabeth Arden helpfully outlines eight different ways to use the multitasking moisturizer, which can “relieve weary feet,” “smooth strands and moisturize dry ends” and “create instant radiance” on collarbones and cheeks.
The company even recommends smoothing on the skincare staple “as protection from windburn, particularly when adventuring outdoors” — something Harry probably should’ve considered before venturing into the icy tundra.