What action hero are you based on your zodiac sign?

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The word hero is derived from the Proto-European root ser meaning “to protect.” Ancient Greeks worshipped heroes; they kept the corpses of local greats close by in hallowed ground and made offerings in the form of hunting, ritual sacrifice, calisthenics, warfare, even prescribed sexual activity.

In our modern age we have transferred that veneration to the action heroes of the silver screen, people and characters that embody the best of what makes us human, and in the process, become slightly more than.

To that end, one study conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Alpha Lion, found nearly 6 out of ten Americans believe they have the prowess to become action stars. Don’t stop believing, fam.

The ancient Greeks also revered the constellations and the art of astrology; the stars we fall under and the light we follow. With this in mind we have complied a list of the greatest action heroes in recent memory and paired them with the zodiac sign most in line with their values, triumphs and cruxes.

For our purposes, we’re focusing on film heroes rather than television champions and with special exemption for Neo, we’re eschewing the genres of fantasy and the world of superheroes to focus on the flesh, blood and undaunted heroism of the following humans.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Foxy Brown

“Foxy Brown”

Leading the charge of female action heroes and operating as Aries energy incarnate is ladies and gentlemen, Foxy Brown. Played in all her gloriously coiffed, eyebrow raising glory by Pam Grier, Brown is billed as “the meanest chick in town” and our shero delivers with flourish and vengeance by male castration. We love to see it. As the rabble rousing first born sign in the zodiac, Aries is provocative and boundary pushing. Likewise, the film made major waves upon its release, it was both banned in the UK for obscenity and celebrated for its revolutionary depiction of female empowerment. High kicks and high fives abound.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Katniss Everdeen

“The Hunger Games”

May I present to you Katniss Everdeen, heroine of the “Hunger Games,” played with full heart and taut bow by Jennifer Lawrence. While her skills as an archer make her seem like a Sagittarius and her “girl on fire” moniker speaks to Leo energy our Katniss is a true blue Taurus with a born day of May 8th. While bulls are low key and tend to avoid the spotlight and leaving home if they can help it, their fierce loyalty to the ones they love drives them towards all manner of danger, clearly demonstrated by Everdeen’s decision to volunteer for a death match to save her sister.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

John McClane

“Die Hard”

John McClane, brought to brawny life by Bruce Willis is a quintessential antihero. A NYC cop who leans on colorful language and despises authority, it tracks that McClane’s date of birth is given as May 25th. Geminis are known for their acerbic wit and ability to out talk to talk to death, anyone in close vicinity. True to form, McClane often delivers his most iconic one liners right before or immediately after he sends an adversary to meet their maker. Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er, indeed.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones was born July 1st, making him a card carrying Cancer just like Harrison Ford who has played him since 1981. A cardinal water sign, Cancer oscillates between serious sensitivity and strong defense. In kind, Jones is the rare kind of action hero that isn’t afraid to take a hit, or admit that it hurts. Cancer rules the fourth house of home and ancestry and Jones struggles with the tangled roots he shares with his father. Cancer is the most nostalgic sign in the zodiac and it is apt that Jones, an archeologist, would make a career out of seeking out artifacts from antiquity and looking back at what has been.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

The Bride AKA Beatrix Kiddo

“Kill Bill”

Never has there been a greater combination of blood, glamour and jumpsuits, nee catsuits, than Uma Thurman as The Bride in Quentin Tarantino’s masterwork “Kill Bill.” Leos know how to steal a scene, rock a uniform, go for broke and amplify drama and our beloved Beatrix Kiddo is a woman on the warpath, left for dead on her wedding day she comes back, samurai sword swinging, for vengeance. Big lion vibes. Leo rules the heart and governs the inner child which helps explain The Bride’s decision to spare the life of one of her enemies offspring. The final frame of the film is another nod to our hero’s leonine nature, “the lioness has rejoined her cub and all is right in the jungle.”

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Dom Toretto

“The Fast and the Furious “

According to Fast and Furious fandom, Dom Toretto, played by Vin Diesel was born August 29, 1976, making him a Virgo sun. Virgos are methodical, enterprising and keep calm under pressure, making them excellent career criminals. Toretto further displays the marks of his sun sign through his loyalty, street smarts, prioritization of family and stoicism. Add to this that Virgos play the long game and the Fast and Furious franchise is nine movies deep with one more in the pipeline.

Unsurprisingly, as Virgo has been voted the most dangerous zodiac sign, several more heroes and antiheroes fall under the stars of this mutable earth sign, including but not limited to Sarah Connor, John ‘I’m back and avenging my dead puppy’ Wick and Jason Bourne.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Ellen Ripley

“Alien”

In the future, uber babe Ellen Ripley will be born on October 8th, 2092 at the Olympia colony on Luna, making her a Libra sun, barring that zodiac signs are transferrable to people birthed on the moon. Can’t be certain of that science folks. Libra is an air sign making Ripley’s chosen profession of spaceship warrant officer, very on brand. People pleasing is a hallmark of the Libra disposition that takes a heroic turn in the case of Ripley as she eventually sacrifices herself and refuses a life saving evil alien baby extraction for the benefit of mankind. Bless up.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

James Bond

“James Bond”

According to his creator, the English author Ian Fleming, James Bond is a Scorpio by design. Fleming wanted Bond to be “‘Manichean,’ meaning that the character battled evil and embodied certain esoteric truths to which only initiates had access.” Tracks. Bond, played most famously by Sean Connery favors a tailored black uniform and scathing sarcasm, displays a weakness for wicked women and vengeance, trades in secrets and is essentially a creature of habit with trust issues that proves himself capable of the calm execution of sudden violence, all evidence a Scorpio birthright. He can defeat villains because he understands villains. Perhaps most telling and scorpionic of all, in the end, Bond always comes out on top.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Bruce Lee

“Enter the Dragon”

Sagittarians are progressive, philosophical and boundary pushing, a trinity made manifest in real life archer Bruce Lee whose seminal role in ‘Enter the Dragon,” cemented his status as a star without equal and revolutionized Hollywood by creating an iconic action movie utterly devoid of guns.

Another action oriented archer can be found in John Rambo  In the novels that formed the foundation for the movie franchise, Rambo’s birthdate is listed as December 4, 1947. A well oiled killing machine, Rambo, portrayed with guts and glory by Sylvester Stallone, is not without moral affliction. His name is in part an homage to the poet Arthur Rimbaud who penned “A Season In Hell.” Rambo’s deep regrets coupled with his ability to keep on keeping on and killing when it is called is emblematic of the enduring spirit of Sagittarius.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

Bryan Mills

“Taken”

Within the zodiac, Capricorn, ruled by stern planet Saturn, represents the archetype of the father. Enter ultimate daddy Liam Neeson whose portrayal of retired CIA operative Bryan Mills bleeds Cap energy. While Mills’s birthdate is listed as June 15, we can trust that our man conceals the true details of his past and is in fact, a Capricorn. Taking the role of protective father far beyond the pale, Mills murders an innumerable amount of sex traffickers, lackeys, pimps, pedophiles and Frenchmen on the take in order to secure the safety of his daughter.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Furiosa

“Mad Max: Fury Road”

Aquarians are divided between a desire to uphold and upend the establishment, a heroes journey made manifest in the character of Furiosa. Played by Charlize Theron in “Mad Max: Fury Road” and portrayed by Anya Taylor-Joy in the upcoming prequel, Furiousa is a one-armed war captain who trades in a life of servitude for one of risk and freedom when she rescues a half dozen sex slaves from the tyrannical, respirator wearing cult leader Immortan Joe. Water bearers harbor utopian dreams and Furiosa is no exception, rhapsodizing on the near mythic perfection of the “Green Place,” where she aims to return.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Neo

“The Matrix”

In “The Matrix” films, helmed by Keanu Reeves, his character Neo’s birth documents reveal he was born March 11 or September 13, making him either a Pisces or a Virgo. His willingness to take an unspecified pill with little provocation leads me to lean more towards Pisces. Ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams and delusions, Pisces are naturally open to altered states and parallel universes. In the Matrix, sunglasses are worn as protection and in daily life, Pisces opt for eyewear that disguises their tears, vices and truths. Add to this that the Matrix movies are a glut of biblical references, Neo is messianic AF and Jesus Christ was a Pisces. I cast my net and rest my case.


Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.


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